TherapyWorks

Changing Lives

  • About
    • Our Therapists
    • FAQ
    • TherapyWorks Cares
    • Fees
      • Fees
      • Insurance
      • Benefit Verification
    • Careers
  • Services
    • Children
      • Child Anxiety
      • Angry Children
      • Depressed Children
      • Child Trauma
      • Grieving Children
      • Therapy for Autism
      • School + Academic Issues
    • Teens & Tweens
      • Teen Anxiety
      • Teen Depression
      • Angry Teens
      • Teen Trauma
      • Teen Self-Esteem/Confidence
      • Teen Social Skills
      • Grieving Teens
      • School Stress
    • Adults
      • Young Adults
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
      • Trauma
      • Anger Management
      • Stress
      • Work Stress
      • Grief and Loss
      • Relationships
      • Personal Growth & Personal Development
    • Family
      • Managing Step Family Transitions
      • Family Stress / Conflict
      • Divorce and Separation
      • Parenting Support
      • Therapy for Moms and Moms-to-Be
    • Couples
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Couples in Conflict
    • LGBTQ+ Mental Health
    • BIPOC Mental Health
    • Group Therapy & Classes
    • SHIFT Coaching
    • Online Therapy Services
    • Community Outreach
  • Blog
  • Better Together Live
    • Better Together Live | Season 2 Episode 3
    • Season 2 Episode 1 | Alsana
    • Episode 1 | Discovery Mood
    • Episode 2 | Good Sam Hospital
    • Episode 3 | Roots Collaborative
    • Episode 5 | NAMI SCC
    • Episode 6 | Empower Professional Organizing
    • Episode 7 | lifeSport Fitness
    • Better Together Live | Episode 8
    • Better Together Live | Episode 9
    • Better Together Live | Episode 10
    • Better Together Live | Episode 11
    • Better Together Live | Episode 12
    • Better Together Live | Episode 13
    • Better Together Live | Episode 14
    • Better Together Live | Episode 15
    • Better Together Live | Episode 16
    • Better Together Live | Episode 17
    • Better Together Live | Episode 18
    • Better Together Live | Episode 19
    • Better Together Live | Episode 21
    • Better Together Live | Episode 20
    • Better Together Live | Episode 22
  • Contact
    • Join Our List
    • Contact Us
    • Locations & Directions
      • Los Gatos
      • Capitola
      • Scotts Valley
    • Make a Referral
  • Helpful Resources
  • Schedule

High-Stress Relationship — Creating a Calm Connection

August 25, 2020 By M Wilbur

Every couple has stress. We have individual stress that can affect our partners, family stress, and stress within the relationship.

Oftentimes, people bottle up or keep their stress to themselves, which makes it difficult for their partners to understand what they are going through and to provide support. People often think this is helpful as they don’t want to pass their stress along to their partner, but it can actually make it worse. Not dealing with stress can create a negative cycle where couples pass stress back and forth rather than dealing with it in the moment.

Below are some tips for managing stress in your relationship:

You can also download our TIPS SHEET or WATCH THIS VIDEO

  • Hug more often. Hugging for at least 30 seconds after work every day can help your bodies line up and calm each other down.
  • Ask how you can help your partner’s day go more smoothly. It may be something small that can make your partner’s day better and reduce stress.
  • Check in and listen. Before jumping to offer solutions or try to “fix” your partner’s stress, start by just listening. Sometimes that’s all they need.
  • Stay connected during stress. Talking about your stress and having a supportive partner to see you through it makes you and your relationship stronger.
  • Know your triggers. Are there particular times or events that seem to heighten your stress levels or your partner’s? Be proactive in understanding those as well as the things that help reduce stress in those situations so you can anticipate stressful times and try to minimize the negative affect on your relationship.
  • Understand each other’s needs. Do you like to talk it out when you are stressed? Maybe you need time to process and decompress alone. Know that you and your partner may have different methods of processing stress and that that is okay. Respect each other’s process and give each other the comfort and time needed.
  • Address stressors before they become bigger problems. Know that bottling up your stress to try to protect your partner is not going to help in the long run. It is better to address the stress by being open about your feelings. Unchecked stress can sabotage a relationship and lead to dissatisfaction and disconnection.
  • Create a list of stress-reducing activities you can do together. Talking walks, working out together, watching a favorite movie. What activities do you enjoy doing together that help alleviate your stress? Keep a list so that you can choose one of those activities when one or both of you become stressed. 
  • Get outside help. Sometimes when you are in a relationship it can be hard to understand what may be causing stress or conflict in the relationship. A therapist can help you and your partner identify conflict areas within the relationship in order to best support you both when deciding what changes may be beneficial for creating a relationship that is as fulfilling and nurturing as it can be.

Remember that everyone needs a little help sometimes. Whether for yourself, for your child, or for your relationship, there are seasons where it’s best to seek outside help. We are here for you. We help people like you.

Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help:

  • Schedule an appointment – Schedule Now
  • Try virtual counseling from home – Learn about telehealth
  • Text WECARE to 474747 and our Client Care Coordinator will reach out
  • Get to know our therapists – Meet our team!
  • Share this with someone – Just send them this link
  • Let’s Chat! Simply reply with an email. One of our team members will personally respond – Email us

Filed Under: Anxiety, Children, Stress Tagged With: anxiety, relationship tips, relationships, stress, stress management

To learn more about the benefits of therapy and how TherapyWorks can help, we invite you to contact us or schedule an appointment today.

Offices in Los Gatos, Santa Cruz/Capitola & Scotts Valley

Location & Directions

Our TherapyWorks Team

CEO & FounderClient Care Coordinator

Schedule Now!

Learn More

Follow us

  • facebook
  • instagram
  • linkedin
  • yelp

Recent Posts

The 3 Stages of Burnout (And How to Spot Them Early)

Live Better: Small Changes That Make a Big Difference in Your Mental Health

Therapist-Approved Gift Guide: Thoughtful Gifts for Everyone On Your List

Top Factors Impacting Kids’ Mental Health Today

Contact

Email:  hello@mytherapyworks.com

LOS GATOS OFFICE
P: 408-508-6789
F: 408-399-8909
A: 334 Village Lane, Los Gatos, CA 95030
Click for Map

CAPITOLA/SANTA CRUZ OFFICE
P: 831-525-5000

A: 519 Capitola Ave. Suite A, Capitola, CA 95010
Click for Map

SCOTTS VALLEY OFFICE
P: 831-525-5000

A: 125 Bethany Drive, Bldg B, Suite 101, Scotts Valley, CA 95066
Click for Map

Happily serving our local communities, including Los Gatos, Saratoga, Campbell, San Jose, Santa Cruz, Scotts Valley, Capitola, Soquel and Aptos.
Copyright © 2025 Therapy Works of Los Gatos · All rights reserved · Responsive site by Fremont Web Solutions          Sitemap